Questions

There are times in life when things happen that are beyond your control. When no matter how bad you want something to happen it doesn’t. When sometimes no matter what, all you get is disappointment. And every time things like this happen you ask yourself but one question "Why me ??"

Well let me ask back why not you ?? What is the difference between you and  the thousands of other mortals that face disappointment each and every day ??  Why is it such a tragedy in your life that you could not get into a club on opening night when people who don’t get jobs to feed their families find the strength to move one ?? Why  is it so difficult for us to instantly look at our situation and analyse it objectively ?? Why ?!?!?

EGO ?

Failure hurts ? Failure makes us feel inadequate ? Failure makes us feel alone ?? Failure makes us feel unworthy of love ?? Of success ?? Of happiness ?? But then is it failure ?? What is failure ?? Was it not just circumstance ?? Is there no strength in your soul to deal with these minor issues in life ??

Or does this happenstance change you ?? Does it light a fire within you ?? Does it ignite a desire to become someone that doesn’t fail, that is never disappointed, never inadequate and never unloved ?? Do your actions define who you are or does who you are define your actions ?? Is it petty and juvenile for such a trivial incident to make you want to change yourself or is it tiny, seemingly inconsequential events like these that have a larger part to play in the whole scheme of things ?? Do they trigger a chain reaction that forever changes everything ??

At the end of the day how do you decide to fill in that gaping void left inside you ??? How does one make up for losing a part of who they are ?? Are there really any answers to these questions ?? Do you really want to hear any of them ?? And after you do, will you be able to handle them ??

KARMA

Whatever you do shall be returned to you. As a defining principle of my faith, karma is pretty powerful and equally scary. That it can be carried over just makes it more so.

I recently figured out that I think without any doubt, the most potent weapon used by Karma to balance the scales is love. It’s an instrument of torture unlike any other cause we inflict it on ourselves and suffer willingly.

A torturer may at some point take pity and show mercy, he may take a break from physical exhaustion or just might get plain bored of the whole exercise. But when one goes to work on himself, he is unmerciful, untiring and relentless. One believes that he is justified and at most times he is. For someone with a purpose, love is the most lethal combination, like a deranged surgeon with a scalpel that will never dull.

To feel love and not have it even acknowledged, let alone returned is sheer madness. It can trap you in your head and keep you there, always alert never to loose consciousness. It will show you glorious visions of peace and happiness, let them soak into you and then rip them out the next instant. It is a pain beyond comparison. It eats at you from the inside, chokes the very breath out of you and leaves you a hollow empty shell of who you once were. At the end, the cycle just starts over. The beauty of this method is that the victim rarely realises he is his own tormentor. Trapped in his own visions, he becomes oblivious to all the truth around him and locks himself within this dark chamber of horrors. He begins to believe that pain is who is, that suffering is his life.

Some escape their confinement, an achievement in itself. But that leaves a balance, to be repaid later in life with full interest that builds up exponentially. Once the debt of karma is paid however, the clouds suddenly part and sunshine pours in. You emerge from your prison bruised, battered and sometimes completely broken in every which way but alive and with full knowledge of the sum of all your experiences in the darkness. Fate and Destiny are beyond our control but they are neither cruel nor do they ever mean you harm. Karma on the other hand is kind of sneaky. For what it makes you do to yourself, it gives back a gift like none other   – SELF DISCOVERY

Only when you put yourself through unimaginable hurt do you realise how much you can endure. And trust me, no one can inflict more pain on you than you yourself. You know all your weaknesses, in mind and body. Only you can pry into and scratch at those tiniest of cracks in a way that causes maximum pain, only you have the ability to break your spirit, to wound the soul.

For those that persevere and survive the ordeal, they are granted a clean slate, but above all - an iron will. A will forged in the heat of pain and suffering and tempered by the knowledge of self. The strength to take on all that comes and do right by your hearts desires.

Personally I believe that death is the greatest leveller. So everyone comes in and goes out free. In life Karma chooses the most appropriate punishment for all your transgressions. The common belief is if you steal, you will be stolen from, if you break you will be broken, if you are selfish people will be selfish with you, if you break someone’s heart your hear will be broken, If all you do is want you shall NEVER receive. While that may be true, every once in a while someone’s pile of offences becomes too high. That is when Karma waltzes in with the ultimate atonement for every sin – Love. With a few leisurely flicks of its broom, karma cleans out everything and gives you the chance to come out the other side a better person, provided you are willing to suffer the price.

Cognitive Loop - Digital Architecture Workshop

I was recently part of a workshop on Digital Architecture. The focus of the session was experimentation with modelling tools, namely Rhino and result oriented code writing i.e. scripting to generate real world solutions for our visualisations. The design project for this workshop was a pavilion based in a hypothetical site of 100 sqm. This is my interpretation.

Human thought is mellow, sensuous and free flowing. The perception and processing of all environment and stimuli is similarly protean. Each line of thought can be defined as a pathway that the mind follows from its inception to its conclusion or transformation into another beginning. This constant interweaving can best be represented as a series of sinuous lines that overlap each other and extend infinitely in all dimensions. To project this continuous process into the built environment it has had to fit into the rectilinear geometry of existing structural design.

If the perception of space is directly related to how it is composed of physical and non-material elements, then by placing experiential boundaries which may be actual or not, spatial character and dynamics can be defined as a response to site and context.

This pavilion was an attempt to break free of conventional spatial stereotypes attached to experiencing structural interventions in public outdoor spaces.

The basic form was developed by defining two pathways – the physical and the visual.

The physical pathway was defined by the intended route of circulation through and around the structure. The visual pathway was defined by the inherent tendencies of visual perception. The base frame was a juxtaposition of these pathways within the constraints of the site. Using contemporary modelling tools, these pathways were amalgamated in to a single dynamic flowing surface that is a representation of the fluid nature of human perception.

To bring this expression from the virtual into the physical realm, experimentation was carried out on the surface with the concepts of parameterization and considering the planar rib as the primary design element. By introducing a directional grid of interlocking ribs to represent the surface, a third structural pathway was automated into the pavilion.

The end result is expected to be a material intervention that will activate the public space into which it will be placed.


The final model for the presentation was made of interlocking ribs laser cut out of 3mm thick transparent acrylic sheets.

Summer Rain

She splashes water everywhere,

Her nose scrunched with determination

Not a single leaf shall be left wanting,

Of the glory of this summer rain

She makes it pour, a smile on her face,

Her nimble fingers make the water dance

In the light of the setting sun,

She stands triumphant

The water queen of this twinkling mountain garden ....

Sadhu

A roaring fire burns,
Turning wood to ash

The flame glow bright,
In the eyes of a naked man

His life is sacrifice, His life is virtue,
He is alone, the world passes him by

Every breath measured, every word uttered,
Chosen so he does not waste

His eyes deep and dark,
Stare into the heart of the blaze
His patience is his penance, his strength

Devotion to his lord,
Helps him overcome,
Makes him forget,
Makes him immune

Soon he knows,
The ash will become his skin,

So that fire burns,
The flame glows bright.....

Bungy

From the ledge I look down,
The water cold and blue

The wind that howls,
Suddenly falls silent

The moment of truth draws closer

Inch by inch, half over the edge,
Only one way out, down

No fear or apprehension,
Surrounded by a quiet calm

Off into the air a leap,
The freedom of flight

Time stands still,
The world is a blur

And then the cord snaps back,
Holds on to you like reality

Euphoria,
Leaves you wanting more.....

Gaia

The sweet scent of jasmine,
Water fragrant and warm

A small sip bathed in yellow light,
The quiet peace of night.