Coming here, to Milan, to study design was a dream. A distant one for quite some time. So far the experience has been phenomenal. I have designed what I wanted and I have an amazing bunch of talented people around me that I call friends. At the end of the first semester last Friday I came face to face with a part of me that I did not wish to meet again. At the end of architecture school I made a promise to myself that I would not be that person again. But for that one project I was, I became him again. And it has left me feeling, for lack of a better word, dirty. I am disappointed in myself to an extent that I did not think I was capable of. I do not like this person and do not like being him. To begin this new semester with this in my head is going to be tough.
On the bright side, March has brought with it so many delightful prospects. Yes, delightful because just thinking about them makes me smile with glee. There is of course, the Salone del Mobile, a bunch of competitions and our two design labs in school. One will be a chair (YES!!! a freaking chair!!!) and the other will be eyewear (Wohooo!!! I finally get to do my own aviators) The weather is beautiful and I feel a bounce in my step as if the energy around me is slowly seeping its way into my being. To be honest, there is so much to do it's a little overwhelming. And hence the trepidation. The uncertainty of the future scares me and excites me at the same time. The next few months may very well define what I do for the rest of my life. Knowing this and processing it is a daunting task, one that I yet feel inept at handling.
But I am here. I did not make it here just to be rattled at the first mountain I must climb. So as sure as the sun shall rise tomorrow (while I am still asleep... :P) I will forge through. I am scared, scared that being lazy, which I am so good at is no longer an option. I'm scared that floating on by is no longer what I want to do. I am scared that I am becoming a different person, someone I do not know but always hoped I would be.
On the bright side, March has brought with it so many delightful prospects. Yes, delightful because just thinking about them makes me smile with glee. There is of course, the Salone del Mobile, a bunch of competitions and our two design labs in school. One will be a chair (YES!!! a freaking chair!!!) and the other will be eyewear (Wohooo!!! I finally get to do my own aviators) The weather is beautiful and I feel a bounce in my step as if the energy around me is slowly seeping its way into my being. To be honest, there is so much to do it's a little overwhelming. And hence the trepidation. The uncertainty of the future scares me and excites me at the same time. The next few months may very well define what I do for the rest of my life. Knowing this and processing it is a daunting task, one that I yet feel inept at handling.
But I am here. I did not make it here just to be rattled at the first mountain I must climb. So as sure as the sun shall rise tomorrow (while I am still asleep... :P) I will forge through. I am scared, scared that being lazy, which I am so good at is no longer an option. I'm scared that floating on by is no longer what I want to do. I am scared that I am becoming a different person, someone I do not know but always hoped I would be.
